I finally did it. After more than ten years living as a man and being on hormones for over four of those, I did it. I scheduled a date for top surgery. Technically all this means is that I will now have a flat chest. I will not have breasts any longer. Emotionally it means so much more. It means that I will no longer have to wear a binder and three shirts at all times. It means that even though I have a beard and a deep voice and a wife that calls me her husband and a son that calls me daddy, I will feel that much closer to no longer having to worry about whether people look at me and question my gender. I will feel comfortable wearing a shirt. A shirt!! Just one! Or not one at all! I will feel comfortable swimming in front of people that are outside of my extended family. I will stand straighter and hopefully have less back problems because I'm not trying to make sure my chest is the least noticeable that it can be. I will finally feel comfortable. And maybe even sexy. I've always dreamt of top surgery. I've even checked out different doctors and done some pre-planning. But it took my brother-in-law prompting me to really set the ball rolling. And of course, my lady has been there supporting my every step. Without her I could have still done all of this but it would have been a long and hard road and I don't want to think of it without her by my side.
And so with my surgery date set, I look to my pocketbook for the finances that will afford me this wonderful change. Of course it is not yet covered by insurance because it's not a REAL medical issue. That doesn't mean you don't have to have a letter from a shrink to say that you are really and truly suffering from gender dysphoria. I know that it will be something for which I will pay for a good long while. At someone's prompting, AHEM Marymoon, I created an account at gofundme.com to see if people could give anything at all to help me on this portion of my journey. At her request I'm also linking it here.
You don't know what a weight off my chest this will be. Literally.
http://www.gofundme.com/7hpugc?preview=1
I am so very proud of you.
ReplyDeleteYou the MAN!
Her hee
ReplyDeleteFreudian slip. That was meant to be hee hee
ReplyDeleteI had no idea! Congratulations!!
ReplyDeleteAs the mother of a trans son, I KNOW how important this part is. We're not there yet, but it will be a day of rejoicing when he is. It's so stupid to me that you need a letter from a therapist when people like the Kardashians go and do stupid shit to their bodies all the time. Whatever. The important thing is that you're taking this step and oh what a liberating step it will be!!
I don't even know you, but I'm happy for you!
Thank you ma'am, so much!
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you and happy also. Your honesty is so refreshing to folks like me. I come to you from Mary Moon. I truly wish I could help with $ alas I can't. Know that my thoughts are with you. Please post more, I like your style.. Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteThanks! The well wishes are greatly appreciated too. And thanks for reading. I'm pretty bad at posting but I will try harder.
DeleteI'm gonna hand Mary some loot for you - I don't use the interwebs much with money. I quit drinking for lent, so you can have my drinking money. Ironically, it was adding to my top.
ReplyDeleteHaha, maybe I should give it up for lent too! Thank you!
DeleteDude....I'm so freaking excited for this. I can't wait to see you stand tall and proud. <3
ReplyDeleteThanks, cricky! I can't wait either! There will definitely be some before and after pics posted. With a shirt.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! The day you take off your shirt in public for the first time is going to feel amazing! And no binders. wooot!
ReplyDeleteBilly,
ReplyDeleteI have not been blogging very much lately so I just read today on Mary's blog that your MawMaw died. I am so very sorry. Sending love to you and your family.
Oh, god. I am starting to look like a stalker!
ReplyDeleteI am not. Just checking to see if you have had your surgery.
Hope you have lots of love and support around you as your grieve your MawMaw.
OK, I won't bug you anymore.
Sending light and love.
Birdie, thank you so much for reading and checking in with me. Your concern really warms my heart. I'm almost to a point that I can write something here. My surgery is scheduled for October 9th and believe me, I will definitely be posting after that! Thanks again.
ReplyDeleteYour surgery is coming up! I have been thinking about you and hope that everything goes well. Please keep us posted. :-)
ReplyDelete