I finally did it. After more than ten years living as a man and being on hormones for over four of those, I did it. I scheduled a date for top surgery. Technically all this means is that I will now have a flat chest. I will not have breasts any longer. Emotionally it means so much more. It means that I will no longer have to wear a binder and three shirts at all times. It means that even though I have a beard and a deep voice and a wife that calls me her husband and a son that calls me daddy, I will feel that much closer to no longer having to worry about whether people look at me and question my gender. I will feel comfortable wearing a shirt. A shirt!! Just one! Or not one at all! I will feel comfortable swimming in front of people that are outside of my extended family. I will stand straighter and hopefully have less back problems because I'm not trying to make sure my chest is the least noticeable that it can be. I will finally feel comfortable. And maybe even sexy. I've always dreamt of top surgery. I've even checked out different doctors and done some pre-planning. But it took my brother-in-law prompting me to really set the ball rolling. And of course, my lady has been there supporting my every step. Without her I could have still done all of this but it would have been a long and hard road and I don't want to think of it without her by my side.
And so with my surgery date set, I look to my pocketbook for the finances that will afford me this wonderful change. Of course it is not yet covered by insurance because it's not a REAL medical issue. That doesn't mean you don't have to have a letter from a shrink to say that you are really and truly suffering from gender dysphoria. I know that it will be something for which I will pay for a good long while. At someone's prompting, AHEM Marymoon, I created an account at gofundme.com to see if people could give anything at all to help me on this portion of my journey. At her request I'm also linking it here.
You don't know what a weight off my chest this will be. Literally.
http://www.gofundme.com/7hpugc?preview=1
