Monday, Monday. Can't trust that day.

So I intended to start this blog to talk about the fun stuff that MawMaw and I do when we hang. And we do lots of fun stuff, we really do. I have always thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with my MawMaw and pawpaw. I learned all sorts of fun things from them. I learned how to shuffle a deck of cards complete with the fancy bridge. I learned how to spot an osprey nest and I learned how to rig a cane pole and I learned how to fish for bream and catfish and clean them. I learned how to have an offbeat sense of humor and I learned how to appreciate the finer things in life, like a family that loves and accepts everyone. Everyone that has learned how to play phase 10 from us, that was mawmaw and pawpaw. But it gets hard to do these things, with all the change that has happened. Very hard. Every time I do one of these things with MawMaw I remember how easy it was before, before they started declining in health. Before they started needing to be checked on every single day. Before the answer to an inquiry of how MawMaw is doing began to always be answered by "I could be better." I know things change, people grow old, our needs become greater as we can do less and less for ourselves. News flash? That shit sucks. I find that constantly throwing myself into the task of making sure MawMaw is ok and happy is wearing me out. And just as it was with pawpaw, I only think of how much she's done for me over my life time and how she really needs me right now and how this can't go on forever like this, I know that for a fact. Oh shit, I don't know where I'm going with this. I'll let it be for now, think about it tomorrow. Right now I've got to shower and change so I can go spend the day with MawMaw.